


Memento Mori

by n_04



Category: Granblue Fantasy (Video Game)
Genre: But it is done way for too long in the past anyway so, Other, What is happiness even, When will I be able to write something happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-04
Updated: 2018-11-04
Packaged: 2019-08-17 10:17:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16514456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/n_04/pseuds/n_04
Summary: I hope when we meet again, he could be proud of me.





	Memento Mori

**Author's Note:**

> Not beta-ed, posted in my tumblr. I hope this is alright.

You stood there, gazing out towards the vast ephemeral sphere which color is the same as your eyes. Azure; full of mirth, serene, forgiving, gentle. I envy the sky whenever you look downward. I am enraged at the fact that I will never receive that gaze of yours. And yet who am I to demand, I am only a replacement that could be discarded at any second.

Yet you never have done that, yet you are pleased with my present. I who represents nothingness and worthlessness. I whose existence is nothing but a backup in case anything happens to you in which I highly doubt. 

(yet it is not me and will never be me, the one you are gazing at).

Molded by daylight’s star, honed by miracles – such is your being. A form of perfection, yet it is a flaw of its own that you could not understand the form of selfishness. 

( my desire is to be useful for you )

But I have no meaning, have I? There’s no use to do anything… or if the world doesn’t need me then I will make it burn… That’s what I used to think about.

“What a nonsense,” I thought as I took another sip of coffee. The dark brown liquid dance inside the mug as I move my hand and placed it back on the wooden table. Deciding everything on your own, being selfless and makes other people pay for what you might not feel – or perhaps conceal under those holy wings of yours. What a truly selfish man. Standing side by side for that long yet never truly understood each other. But now…

I have inherited something I never wanted in the first place, I inherited something which used to belong to you. Even though you are no longer here, I hope I could understand what I fail to get when you were here. Sad, is it not? To want to fix everything when you are no longer here? But I know you have yet truly disappeared, I believe that you would watch over us – over me – from somewhere we could not perceive.

Ah.. distant memory is starting to call for me… a backward dream of phantom reality…

“Sandalphon, do you know the reason why I took a favor of this?”

Coffee, he meant. I shake my head as an answer. Lucifer is so white, so pure. People would relate him to a clear water or milk but here he is, sitting in front of me with a glass of coffee in his hand. Something I didn’t like before but grew accustomed to.

“No, I don’t…”

“It reminds me of you. Bitter, yet alluring and necessary. Keep it as a habit and might as well I am unable to be freed from addiction. This is a very human flavor.”

His word is always hard to digest, but I was dumbstruck at the fact. It took me a few minutes until I could really get what he meant, but not the latter part. “P-pardon me?”

“Bitter, yet very human. Even compared to me, you are more human than I am. To be able to feel grief, envy, jealousy, anger… and yet you do everything to move forward even in your darkest moment. That alone proves that you are never been useless, that with or without purpose you always give your best. Ah, but I am here to have a good time with you, do forgive my rudeness for saying something like that.” 

Those are perhaps something Lucifer has discarded long ago. To become a perfect being, one must discard their humanity. Funny considering I am the lowest of low, perhaps lower than the child of man themselves, and yet I found solace in hearing such confession. I am truly the worst, am I not?

“Sandalphon.. Sandalphon..? Are you okay?”

The voice of the girl in blue woke me up, followed by the crew and yet everything turned static as my consciousness returns to my body. Apparently, I cried in my sleep, but that too is okay as long as I could see him in my dream.

“The bean was not stirred properly.” A lie, and I am sure they too know it yet go along with everything I put up. Excusing myself to the deck, I gazed towards the azure-hued sky and hummed a song Lucifer used to hum whenever we were together. My song will now ride the wind, back to him so far, far away. But I believe one day, the sky will connect as one and I will be able to cross it and meet him again.

With a new resolution and a reminder of his words, I shall do what he wishes, I shall do everything to the fullest. Do what he could not do, be better than him, and stay human like what he said.

I hope when we meet again, he could be proud of me.


End file.
